We often underestimate how much stress can actually affect our body.

We tend to see stress as something emotional. We are worried, frightened, overwhelmed, or perhaps simply going through a difficult period in our life. We know that we are stressed, but we don’t always realise what is happening inside our body at the same time.

There is also a big difference between the stress we experience when something affects only us and the stress we experience when another person depends on us.

When we are responsible only for ourselves, however difficult life becomes, there are compromises we can make. We can live with less, change our plans or move somewhere else. Sometimes we can simply say, I will somehow manage.

But when another human being depends on us, it becomes very different.

As a parent, we are no longer making decisions only for ourselves. There is another person who relies on us. When that person is a small child, someone vulnerable or someone with a disability, the responsibility can carry an enormous emotional weight. We have to consider their needs alongside our own, even when we are already struggling.

Financial stress is then no longer only about whether we personally can manage. It becomes about whether we can provide what our family needs. Stress can also come from relationships, uncertainty, loss, or being frightened for someone we love.

And the body doesn’t simply switch off while our mind is dealing with all of this. It responds with us.

We may not sleep properly. Our muscles become tense, our digestion can change, and we may feel exhausted without understanding why. We might notice headaches, changes in appetite, a racing heart, or the feeling that we cannot fully relax. In particularly intense moments, we may even tremble or shiver.

Sometimes we notice these changes straight away. At other times, the pressure builds quietly. We become used to tense shoulders, restless nights or feeling tired, without realising how long we have been living this way. Stress can make existing symptoms harder to manage, although it may not be the only reason we feel unwell.

We may believe we are coping because we still get up every morning and continue with everything that needs to be done. Life carries on, and from the outside we may seem fine. But being able to keep going does not always mean that we are feeling well.

We cannot remove every stressful situation from our lives. Sometimes the problem is real. Telling ourselves not to worry about money will not pay the bills. If somebody we love is vulnerable or unwell, we cannot simply decide not to care. And if we have experienced loss, we cannot force ourselves not to feel it.

I don’t believe the answer is to pretend that everything is fine. There are times when we need practical help, someone to listen, or simply a little space to acknowledge how difficult things have become.

But perhaps we can also begin to notice what happens within us while we are dealing with the situation. Are we holding our breath? Are our shoulders always tense? Does our mind keep returning to the same fear, even when there is nothing more we can do that day?

These small things can be easy to overlook when our attention is on getting through everything. Yet noticing them may help us recognise when we need to pause, rest or reach out for support.

Our emotions can also help us understand ourselves. Fear may show us what matters deeply to us. Loss may reveal how much we have loved. Stress may help us realise that we have been carrying more than we can manage alone.

This does not mean that every painful experience needs to become a lesson. Sometimes we need time before we can understand what it has meant for us. But when we are ready, we may be able to see more clearly what we need, what we can change, and where we need help.

Life will always bring situations we did not expect and would never have chosen. We may still have responsibilities to meet and problems to work through. Perhaps caring for ourselves begins with recognising that, while we are doing all of this, our wellbeing matters too.